captaindreadnought:

Cross out everything you’ve ever done:

  • Had a beer
  • Smoked an entire cigarette
  • Written on a bathroom wall.
  • Read a George Orwell book. 
  • Had a physical fight.
  • Used Twitter.
  • Listened to Lady Gaga
  • Been in a car accident.
  • Gotten suspended. 
  • Gotten expelled.
  • Been allergic to something.
  • Got a computer virus.
  • Touched a real gun.
  • Had a dog.
  • Had a cat
  • Been pregnant.
  • Camped out
  • Swam in the ocean.
  • Wore a bikini
  • Driven a car
  • Been sent to the principal.
  • Ever liked someone.
  • Failed a class.
  • Failed a test.
  • Went to summer school.
  • Got worse than a D
  • Got A’s and B’s.
  • Read an entire book.
  • Recorded my own music.
  • Had an xbox.
  • Worn heels more than 3 days in a row. 
  • Wore fishnets.
  • Wore skinny jeans.
  • Hated someone.
  • Been cheated on.
  • Cheated on someone.
  • Practised Christianity. 
  • Worn makeup.
  • Lied to my parents about where I was going.
  • Had surgery.
  • Had my license.
  • Self harmed.
  • Worn coloured contacts.
  • Painted my nails black.
  • Broken someone’s heart.
  • Had my heart broken.
  • Cried for an hour straight
  • Lost something very valuable.
  • Got separated from one of my parents as a kid.
  • Broken a bone.
  • Gotten stung by a bee.
  • Eaten something bad/expired.
  • Threw up from being so drunk.
  • Saw someone throw up from being so drunk.
  • Danced with someone of the same sex.
  • Owned an ipod
  • Owned an iphone.
  • Fell for a best friend.
  • Stole a friend’s significant other.
  • Went far away from home for more than a week.
  • Moved out.
  • Kicked out.
  • Ran away.
  • Had a job.
  • Been fired.
  • Lied to a friend.
  • Lied to a family member.
  • Had a Facebook.
  • Posted a video on Youtube.
  • Started a rumor about someone. 
  • Talked bad about someone
  • Deliberately failed a test.
  • Been skinny dipping.
  • Counted to a million.
  • Counted to a thousand.
  • Ate rabbit meat.
  • Ate duck meat.
  • Had fast food.
  • Been to Church.
  • Been to Canada.
  • Been married.
  • Had a divorce.
  • Broke a glass
  • Hugged someone today.
  • Texted someone today.
  • Received a phone call today.
  • Threw something out of the window.
  • Ignored a text from someone on purpose.
  • Wished you were somebody else.
  • Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them.
  • Been to a concert
  • Seen your favorite band live
  • Met a celebrity
  • Met your favorite band
  • Own more than 10 CD’s



unbreakablesoul:

FAVORITE THING THAT HAPPENED ON THIS SHOW EVER

averagebare:

one time i was walking across the courtyard and some kids were clustered around where the seagulls always are and then this kid fuckin GRABBED ONE OUT OF THE AIR and i was literally so fucking amazed but all his friends were like “tyrone put that shit down” and “again tyrone?? really??” which is even better because it means he was a habitual seagull catcher 

"


I.
five sets of two hands, fingers spread wide
my best friend lying next to me squeaks out
“never have I ever masturbated”
a chortle and a shrug between the boys as they flick down their obligatory fingers
and I can’t help but feel a twinge in my stomach as my pinky follows suit
the silence in the room is thick and grey and suddenly sliced by
“…really?”
yes really.
have you ever experienced fun?

II.
I pull away a hair caught in my scarlet lipstick
in my reflection I see my table mate from english class
behind me she blinks twice and scoffs
“who are you trying to impress?”
the bathroom door is closed behind her before I can ask
the last time she did something to impress herself.

III.
before a trip to the mall
one of my friends spends two hours
perfecting her bronzer
and choosing the perfect pair of shoes
the other rubs in dry shampoo
and is out the door in less than five minutes
they are two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.

IV.
my father calls me beautiful through a mouthful of popcorn
as I pour a glass of milk to accompany my now third piece of leftover birthday cake
he plants a kiss on my cheek and I grin as I wipe it away.

V.
she asks me what to do to start loving herself
and I send her away to my full length mirror
and demand to only speak to her
when she’s found something to adore
the way I did with my knobby knees
and tiger-striped hips
and big square teeth
fifteen minutes go by
and she finally points to the freckles on her nose
splits into a grin
the one that makes everyone weak in the knees
and I watch the lightbulb go off above her head
as she realizes
it’s never been her job to hate her body

VI.
i tell my sister she looks cute today
and the look on her boyfriend’s face
when she blurts out “damn right I do!”
is priceless.

VII.
I used to worry that I’d never find someone who loved me at all
and now my biggest fear
is finding someone who can adore me as much as I’ve come to.

"

seven thoughts on self love that came to me before I got my driver’s license (llb)

carryonmy-assbutt:

rose-for-a-tenner:

carryonmy-assbutt:

guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly

like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo

My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.

I want more to that story

dreaminghermione:

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

Ferguson from my TL- August 18 (2/3)

daisyshanti:

angelclark:

Hedy Epstein, 90-Year-Old Holocaust Survivor, Arrested During Michael Brown Protest 

Hedy Epstein, a 90-year-old Holocaust survivor, was arrested on Monday during unrest over the death of Michael Brown,KMOV reports.

Epstein, who aided Allied forces in the Nuremberg trials, was placed under arrest in downtown St. Louis, Missouri “for failing to disperse” during a protest of Governor Jay Nixon’s decision to call in National Guard into Ferguson. Eight others were also arrested.

“I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager. I didn’t think I would have to do it when I was ninety,” Epstein told The Nation during her arrest. “We need to stand up today so that people won’t have to do this when they’re ninety.”

You’re fucking kidding me

dapperfucker:

best of “she wears short skirts”

thegenuflector:

Anna Faris and Chris Pratt are a pretty great couple.

openlyawesome:

August 18, 2014

image

August 19, 2014

image

ladysirens:

…Where will I go today, who knows? But I shall be carried.”

-Ron Funches (x)

tall-dark-n-creepy:

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”

Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”

hayakata:

kropotkindersurprise:

Two ways of dealing with tear gas grenades from comrades in Turkey: Either submerge them in water. Make sure you can close off the container cause the gas will still spread for a while. Or throw them in the fire so the gas burns off before it can spread.

Wow.